; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
