Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
