when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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