the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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