I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize