I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
