i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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