you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
