I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
