if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
