dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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