Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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