so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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