I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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