I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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