Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
