it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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