Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
