yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
