I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Two words: nipple clamps
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