He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
