ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
