just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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