Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
