At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize