Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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