I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
do herpes really smell.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
