its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
