Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
