@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Help. Why am I so naked?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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