glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
