There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
