For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
