never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
