Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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