I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
