she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
