p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
