I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
