When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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