you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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