The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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