do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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