Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
