How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
