Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
