its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The ass gains better be worth it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
