Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
