scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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