All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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