there was a trapeze. enough said
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We need a shit load of segways right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
last night I used snow as a chaser
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize