It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize