The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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