True but thats because hes a fetus.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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