yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
