my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
