at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My vagina just recognized that song.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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