I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
