I cockslap morals
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
