Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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